questions?

some of us ask ourselves, some dont..
but how many of us ask twice?
or how many question the motive of: why we search for the answer in the first place?

confused? sorry.. let me try to untangle some..

we do something,anything for that matter
those who ask will ask themselves: why did i do that
we try and try to justify our doings.

but how many of us ask twice?
how many of us ask why we justify our doings?
to feel safe maybe?
to feel right?

we try time and time to explain our doings..
again i ask: why is that?
coz t does not actually feel right?
are we actually trying to trick our heart with our brains?
perhaps..

now, if u decide that we are tricking our hearts to accept your actions..
what's next?
is it wrong to trick our hearts?

God ask us to check back, i know.
God ask us to judge our day.
but here we are, telling ourselves that we did good.
perhaps to get a better sleep.

but is it parallel with the purpose of muhasabah?

decide for yourself
not trying to bring any guilt
simply writing down my thoughts..